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| (The Beggar King, Source:UnTextbook) |
There once was a king who thought he belonged on a high horse. His people thought the worst of him (and they weren't wrong). He was greedy and selfish. The High Priest was reading out of the Holy Book when he came across a passage that the king didn't like. The king snatched the Holy Book out of the High Priest's hands and threw it across the room. The Priest was stunned. The king shoved past the priest and stormed out of the room. He ordered his men to saddle the horses and informed them that they were going hunting.
The king owned the fastest horse in all of the lands. When the king saw a deer, his horse easily outran his men's horses. He followed the deer into the woods and saw it cross the water. There, he dismounted and waded through the water to follow the deer. When he came towards the deer, it transformed into a man.
The man spoke to the king and explained that he was the deer and that he was actually a genie. "Because you are so haughty, I am here to teach you a lesson." And with that, he transformed himself into the king's look-alike, swam across the river, and mounted the horse.
By this time, the king's men finally caught up and believed that the genie was the real king. "I lost the trail of the deer. Let us return," said the genie. The genie and the king's men rode away back to the palace.
The king was so shocked. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He wandered all over and found a wood-cutter. "You there!" cried the king. "I am the king. You shall escort me back to my palace."
The wood-cutter laughed in the king's face. "You must be mad," cackled the wood-cutter. "You're in ragged clothes. You cannot be the king. Work for me and I will give you food and clothes." The king refused and the wood-cutter beat him.
The king wandered away and reached the palace late at night. He told the guards who he was, but they didn't believe them. He went away and blended in with a group of blind beggars. He had decided to be their eyes.
After a few months, the royal heralds went by and announced that the good king would give a feast to all of the beggars and that the beggars would have a chance to speak with him. The king was overjoyed. He would be able to convince the genie to change him back.
The time came when it was the king's turn to talk to the genie. He begged for forgiveness and said that he would never act that way towards the Holy Book again. He repented his sins. The genie realized that the king had learned his lesson and transformed himself back into the genie's body. The king had regained his clothes and was now sitting on the throne.
The king was overjoyed. He then looked to the genie and swore. "How dare you?! Who do you think you are making me act as a beggar and forcing me to live on the streets while you live in my palace! Guards! Exile this man!"
As the guards were dragging the genie away, the genie sighed, "I guess you haven't learned anything at all." The king went back to his old ways and was haughtier than ever.
Bibliography: Story: "The Beggar King", Jewish Fairytales and Legends by Gertrude Landa (1919).
I like your descriptions of the king in your story. The dialogue really made him seem like a terrible and greedy person. And I agree that people do not instantly change their ways like the king did in the original story. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the show “Game of Thrones,” but the king in your story really reminds of the king in that show and I can’t stand him.
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ReplyDeleteI liked how you changed the story to make it where the king never learned his lesson. We all know that sometimes in life you have to know that some people will never change no matter what you do. While I do love a happy ending, I also find it interesting when things end up exactly how they might in real life. Not everything has a happy ending. There are not that many stories that are changed with the person not learning there lesson so I felt that this gave it a unique perspective. I did feel bad for the genie though. He trusted that the king would change and he never did. Overall, I thought your story flowed really well and it was easy to read. I also liked how you broke the paragraphs up into smaller sections. I feel like this definitely helps and makes it easier to follow the story.
After reading your authors note, I liked how you wanted the story to convey something you really thought would be more practical, like the king not changing his ways all of a sudden after being so greedy for so long. I often change my stories into ones I feel are more accurate of real life situations so I enjoyed that you did that as well. I thought your descriptions of the king helped shaped the character and I felt how greedy he really was. Good job!
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ReplyDeleteI liked this story a lot, also. The storyline was well set up, and the story moved along nicely. The way you created it to convey a more realistic telling of the story (with the king being forced through hard times before he could get back to being king) was excellent as well. And like you said, sometimes people don't change after certain things happen to them, so the fact that the king didn't change his ways at all after all he had been through was a much more accurate way of telling the story, I thought. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHeather, it really helps that you have your author’s note at the beginning of the story. I thought it did a great job of summarizing the original story. Also, it was very detailed and explained your reasoning for changing the story. I believe that you put a more practical stance on the story, which makes it more relatable. The spacing of the story made it easy to read and follow. I enjoyed how I was able to picture the deer and how he was actually the genie. This was a good twist in the story. Also, I thought it was creative to make the genie turn into the king’s look-alike. The dialogue throughout the story really added dynamic thought into the plot. The ending was perfect. This is how I would picture how most kings would act. I thought that overall you did a great job of making the story your own.
ReplyDeleteHeather, I think you did a really great job with this story! I loved that you put the author's note at the beginning of this story, which I think helps the readers when they are wanting to know what the original story was about. This especially helped me because I didn't read this original story. But I think it was great that you took a more practical stance, because it made it easier for me to understand and relate to. I also thought you did great with how you developed the characters through dialogue and their action, giving them a great character in this story. The plot was really great and kept me intrigued throughout, and I thought you did a great job at writing this story. The tag-line you included on the portfolio guide was really good, as that is what drew me into choosing this story to read. Breaking up the paragraphs and the dialogue also made the story flow well and helped with reading it. Overall, great job and I am looking forward to reading more of your work!
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that the original story is kind of unrealistic. People like the king hardly ever learn their lesson, and they will lie and scheme until they get their way, which is basically what the king in your story did. Unrealistic endings are part of what people like about fairy tales, though, because they can temporarily escape into a world where good always triumphs over evil. If you're used to fairy tale endings, the ending of this story might be a bit of a shock, so it's a good thing that your author's note is at the beginning as it provides an explanation before the reader can be mislead about what kind of story this will be. The style of writing you utilized for is very similar to that of traditional storytelling. I could easily see this in a book of fairy tales or folktales (except for the ending which isn't very positive). Splitting up the tale into short, succinct paragraphs made it flow very well and also made it very easy to read. Good job!
ReplyDeleteWow, what an interesting story. I didn't read the original, but from your author's note, I think I like your version more. I agree that the king probably would not so easily change his opinions. I real liked how you had concise sentences and paragraphs; it didn't make the story seem choppy at all. There was a great flow throughout. In the third paragraph, you said "The man spoke to the king and explained that he was the deer and that he was actually a genie." This was the only part that I had to reread a couple of times over. I felt like it was just worded a little weird. Maybe you could say the man appeared where the deer once stood, and then he says he's a genie and so on, or something like that.
ReplyDeleteOverall, it’s a really great retelling of the original story. I thought it was much more realistic.